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About

"Hi, I'm Nick. This is my blog, the endless stream of consciousness that always seems to be falling out of my mind. I think a lot, and I believe that my posts are pretty deep. Thanks for reading."

"Let the rain be your applause...

...Every encore sooth your rage."

It's a New Year. How time does fly.

The New Year always brings back memories and makes me reminisce. What that means in particular, though, is completely unknown to me. I don't know why I'm going to miss 2007; I don't know why I'm hesitant about beginning the year 2008. But for some particular reason, New Year's always puts me into a terribly contemplative mood.

As I sit here, and I listen to music, some strange epiphany seems to have washed over me. Everything will be all right. The comfort of the present, of the unknown, assuages me. "Turn the light out, say goodnight; no thinking for a little while. Lets not try to figure out everything at once. It’s hard to keep track of you falling through the sky." The lyrics which inspired such a realization are oddly befitting. My troubled mind can be put at ease if I only take a rest, a break, from the humdrum of my life and look at the rest of the world.

I feel as if I am falling through the sky--a perpetual sky! The world seems melodic and harmonious; though together it is an orchestra seemingly perfect and heraldic, but each instrument is cacophonous of itself and needs to be repaired.

And because of this exhilarating journey through the sky and through the false music of the world's soul I have come to know my inner most self. To uncover one's destiny one must focus all of his energies upon the uncertain; upon dreams, and hopes, upon the wings of an albatross or in the hearts of archangels--through this we shall find our daemon, our guide and motivation.

So what is my daemon? What does it look like? What does it sound like? This I cannot answer, for the daemon only exists in the surreal, the dream world of the mind that at this point is inaccessible to me consciously.

But my daemon has told me. He has told me about the harmony of the world, the harmony of the people, and the harmony of myself: "Genuine communion is a beautiful thing. But what we see flourishing everywhere is nothing of the sort. The real spirit will come from the knowledge that separate individuals have of one another and for a time it will transform the world. The community spirit at present is only a manifestation of the herd instinct. Men fly into each other's arms because they are afraid of each other--the owners are for themselves, the workers, for themselves, and the scholars for themselves. And why are they afraid? You are only afraid if you are not in harmony with yourself. People are afraid because they have never owned up to themselves. A whole society composed of men afraid of the unknown within them! They all sense that the rules they live by are no longer valid, that they live according to archaic laws--neither their religion nor their mortality is in any way suited to the needs of the present. They know exactly how many ounces of powder it takes to kill a man but they don't know how to be happy for a single contented hour. These people who huddle together in fear are filled with dread and malice, no one trusts the other. They hanker after ideals that are ideals no longer but they will hound the man to death who sets up a new one. Can you feel the approaching conflict? A revolution is at hand, to change the world. It will reveal the bankruptcy of present-day ideals, there will be a sweeping away of Stone Age gods. The world, as it is now, wants to die, wants to perish--and it will, inaugurating a new age, an age for the people!"

I feel tied to this change. I feel like those of us whose destinies are a part of this, will work together for the new age, ending this fake empire triumphed by disunion. Perhaps we'll perish in it: our kind can be shot, too. Only we aren't done away with as easily as that. Around what remains of us, around those of us who survive, the will of the future will gather. The will of humanity will come to the fore again. And then it will become clear that the will of humanity is nowhere--and never was--identical with the will of present-day societies, states and peoples, clubs and churches. No, what Nature wants of man stands indelibly written in the individual, in you, in me; it stood written in Jesus, in Mohammed, in Buddha and Kierkegaard and Locke and Nietzsche. These tendencies--which are the only important ones and which can assume different forms every day--will have room to breathe once the present societies have collapsed.

At the risk of sounding revolutionary through that drift of thought, change is upon us. We who wish to embrace it have it written upon us and upon our destinies--a mark of Cain, some would say. It will divide temporarily, but it will ultimately unite for the betterment of mankind.

-n

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